It dawned on me a few weeks ago, that i have far too much junk littered about the internet. I set things up, forget about them, and then set some more shit up – and its gotten to the stage where I’m using a shit load of web-space, and not really doing anything with it.

So i started by pruning my Facebook friends list first – removing anyone who I didn’t actually know, and i was amazed at how many people were on there that id never met, never spoken to and never even heard of!

I’ve also been thinking a lot about who i am on the internet, or more like – what I’m referred to.

I want to standardise my “Handles” on the internet, but do i choose Olly, or olstar?

Here’s what’s standing in my way;

Twitter – I love twitter, and despite not using it that much over the last few weeks i still love using it and love how it works etc. However, I’ve had to create a new “persona” on there as my usual names were all taken.

I’d love the @olly twitter account as no one actually uses it – I’d even settle for @olstar which is also not used! In fact, nearly all the decent twitter aliases for people with my name are gone, and un-used! I wish the twitter peeps would sort it out and re-release all the inactive and unused names – IF YOU ARE READING THIS PLEASE SORT IT OUT!

Domain Names – Now, for ages i’ve been totally happy with my domain name – i mean, 0lly.co.uk? It couldn’t get much better, could it?

Well im afraid it could – thanks to the twitter generation, short domains and url shorteners have become a massive deal and some of them are tt.ly cool! (haha, see what I did there?) and it got me thinking about my name and my aliases and how I could use a international domain name to spell something cool.

I decided that I needed http://ol.ly as it was the shortest and coolest domain name any Olly in the world would be proud to have, so i looked into it and it was owned by a guy called Ollie (yea, obvious i know) However – he didn’t spell his name with a LY he spelt it with an IE…

So I started looking at it from a different perspective – What if I bought oll.ie, and swapped it with this guy who owned ol.ly?

I contacted him, he agreed – so now i’m trying to secure oll.ie – and you would not believe the hoops i’m having to jump through to get it!

Decisions, Decisions…

My conclusion is that i need to get everything in one place, on one domain name, and all tied up with cherries on top. Im not too fussed about having all my images and photos on the net – in fact some of them are probably quite damaging to my character, and in all fairness could land me in a lot of trouble.

So do i move everything over to olstar?

Do i pursue my quest to get ol.ly? Or will using a Libyan Domain Name balls up my placement in the UK search results?

Do i quit whining, leave everything on here and just forward my other domains to this one? (safely, of course  )

Footnote: I do have olstar.co.uk – and it would probably make sense to just try and get that twitter name then im sorted.

Ahhh dammit…

I kinda figured it would happen – the lyrics were NO WHERE to be found – so after me and HSB sat and worked them out and i posted them on here i knew it wouldn’t be long before some bastard robbed them and tried to play them off as their own.

I know they have stolen mine cos they’ve made mistakes that have now been corrected by the lovely commenter’s on my actual post about the tinie tempah pass out lyrics

What would be nice is if Tinie himself could verify the lyrics so that at least when people are stealing mine they are stealing the right ones

I wouldn’t of minded if the tea-leaf at least stated where he got them from – it took us hours to get that far!

I really don’t believe in all that tripe about superstition, luck and all that jazz – however today it seems both Gemma and i have had a case of Friday the 13th Syndrome!

First the dog decided to walk shit in the house, then to top that off my fucking projector is on the blink.

It couldn’t of picked a better day!

So now we are off to buy carpet cleaning potions and dream about what it was like watching Heroes on a 80″ screen

I have my email set up quite strange, i have gmail accounts through google apps, all feeding to one central gmail account. This means i have spam filter in place at more than one level, which means i hardly get any spam at all now.

This is brill – however i no longer get the awesomely funny 419 scam emails!

I decided to log into one and have a scan through to make sure there wasn’t any emails that had been spammed that i should of actually received.

And i saw this beauty, which is too good for words.

REF:- INSTRUCTION TO CREDIT YOUR ACCOUNT WITH THE SUM OF (US$35.500,000.00)
This is the second time we are notifying you about this said fund.
After due vetting and evaluation of your Inheritance file which The Nigerian
National Petroleum Corporation (NNPC) in conjunction with the Ministry Of
Finance Of the Federal Republic of Nigeria Forwarded and contracted us to see
to your immediate payment of the sum of US$35,500,000.00 from their Offshore
Account with us.

We were meant to understand from our findings that you have been going through
hard ways by paying a lot of charges to see to the release of your fund
(US$35,500,000.00) , which has been delayed. Which has been the handiwork of
some miscreant elements from Nigeria we advice that you stop further
communication with any correspondence from Nigeria.

You don’t have to pay any charges to receive your Contract fund anymore as you
have met up with the whole requirements, your representatives in Nigeria will
tell you to still go ahead with them but on your own risk.

The only thing required from you is to obtain Non-Resident Clearance
Form/Receipt which we are not asking you to pay the fee to us here in United
Kingdom as the Government of Nigeria have paid us for handling/processing of
your payment with other customers.
We will help you to see that you obtain the form so that our bank will affect
immediate transfer of your Inheritance sum (US$35,500,000.00) into your
designated bank account.
Should you follow up our directives, your fund will reflect in your account
within five Bank working days from the day you obtain this form. Do not go
through anybody again but through this Bank if you really want your fund.

Finally, you are advice to forward to this bank your receiving Account. Where
you want this fund to be remitted
.
Yours sincerely,
Mrs. LUNAR Owen

Head, Private Banking Section.
Barclays Bank Plc. London

Im getting sick to the fucking back teef of trying to register twitter accounts for my personal and business use – and some fucking drongo has already snapped them up.

For example, @olly is registered and not used, @adidas is registered and not used, @ol is registered and not used.

Need i go on?

I have tried contacting twitter support and asking to kick them off so i can have them – no joy! I have even tried tracking the people down that own them but still, no joy.

There needs to be something built in to twitter that, if a profile is registered then never used  then it should be removed.

Losers.

My osgood schlatters disease is a really hard thing to  photograph and you really cant see the full extent of it until you actually look at my knee, but i thought id share this with the world anyway.

You can clearly see the knee closest to the camera has a large bump on it, that SHOULDNT be there, and the doctor told me that i’d have to live with it and eventually it would wear off.

It hurts ALL the time, apart from when im walking. And its a really aching pain – really quite horrible!

I’d love to hear from other sufferers, and more importantly anyone who knows how i might be able to get rid of the pain!

I dont tend to get a lot of spam any more becasue of Gmails amazing spam filters – but every now and then the bastards manage to slip thru the net and end up in my inbox.

Now if they do get through, i tend to look at them to see how they might of tricked the spam filters – and this one really stood out to me as a totally crazy idea to get their spam shit past the filters;

There was no text in the message, just this totally fucked up image!

Hahaha weird.

We were approached by a chap who was working on behalf of Crystalview windows Nottingham – and he had been tasked with getting brochures and flyers made up to spam peoples post boxes with.

Anyway, the first thing he said on the phone was how shit this other company he was dealing with, was. He said they had been left with the stuff for a week and not done any work on it (i now know why!) and were very unprofessional (this is coming from a guy who looked and spoke about as professional as a turd)

He then proceeded to explain to me roughly (VERY roughly) what it is he wanted and gave me a flyer that wouldn’t of looked out of place at the bottom of a trash can. He showed me some login details he had for Synseal as they don’t actually make windows, they just buy them cheap and claim to make them.

And that was it!

He then expected me to design an 8 page brochure (in one day, with NOTHING to work with) send it him, and then print it before the end of the week.

Our printing prices weren’t bad, and i had to put a bit on top as i wasn’t prepared to spend a day doing this for nothing. But he proceeded to tell me our prices were shit, and that he would still go with the brochures as we seemed more professional than this other company. So i knocked him a front page design up using the very limited things i was left with and sent him a lo-res version of the front page.

He then replied with very rude comments, the design was un-imaginative and was only the front page not the whole 8 pages.

I then proceeded to explain that unless i had a deposit i wasn’t prepared to do any more work on it. He spat his dummy out, said how his company will do free designs and that i should – im not a bloody charity – and basically acted like a total child because i wouldn’t bend over backwards and meet his every demand.

Now im all up for customer service, our long-serving customers are more like friends now – but i ain’t nobody’s slave – and if he thinks for a minute im going to rip myself off just to do what he wants me to do – he needs to get his head checked!

Printing is old hat anyway!

So if this chap is anything like the rest of the company, id go with someone like Everseal – their motto is “Choose Professionals” but i think it should read “As long as you dont choose crystal view windows Nottingham its all good”

Crystal view windows Nottingham = steer clear!

He reminded me of that twat of an owner of Il Rosso in Mansfield – he’s a fat fucking oxygen thief too!

Edit – woops, cached in google just below their website!

Sometimes i find myself simply unable to concentrate enough to make any headway on work that i have outstanding. Our business is growing, as is our little internal network of people we have – yet after nearly 3 years at it im still as dis-organised as i was when i started.

I often wonder how much more produtive i’d be if i actually planned my days out better.

Can anyone recommend some decent software or something that allows me to manage my time and manage projects efficiently?

All the software i have ever tried is built to help people manage tasks and appointments, but it only works for your typical salesman or something, who’s workload and outstanding jobs can be easily planned out etc – due to the diverse work i do, i can never plan a day out as something will always crop up and knock it all out of sync.

I use a combination of gmail, my blackberry, a page-a-day-diary and a scribble pad. If i could merge the lot into one i would – maybe the answer is with addon software for the ‘berry? Or maybe i just need to hold on to the hope one day google will make the tasks lab feature shareable between users on the same google apps domain – ARE YOU LISTENING GOOGLE?

Anyway, off to try and organise my bitch ass.

Rice.

My blog seems to have totally lost its pagerank. I am 100% sure that it was at least a PR2 on the homepage, and i have a shed load of posts that had awesome pageranks due to them being commented on a lot and linked to and they are all now PR0 too!!! What the hell has gone off??

Im totally fucking pissed!

Someone please tell me its a glitch in the matrix???

Crap!