December 26th, 2007 by olstar

A while ago, a friend of mine mentioned to me that when rizla first started their advertising campaign for their new product “The King Size Rizla” they used bill board ad’s that suggested they were “for that special one at the end of the night” etc.

Many years later it got brought up, so i decided to hunt around on the internet for proof of such an occurance.

I started with google of course, and tried a few blatant search terms that - if such billboards existed - would definatly find them. No luck. So i wided the search, and just looked for examples of king size rizla adverts full stop.

I found a few things, most of them about complaints that king size rizla adverts suggested their use was for rolling fat spliffs.

But, no matter how hard i looked, i found nothing about billboards blatently stating they were made for joints. if you really think about it, their is no use what so ever in the world for king size rizlas, apart from for use with biftahs. Why would they make a red king size, and then a silver one that is jsut that little bit bigger? As if anyone in the world smokes silver king size roll up’s. That would be one yellow finger’d pikey.

The above image is a photoshop of what it could of looked like. If you know more then post a comment.

December 24th, 2007 by olstar

Ho Ho Ho

Ludacris has dropped a blinder for this xmas season. He has released a track for the movie Fred Claus and thanks to a kind soul on YouTube i have the lyrics here for you.

I wish more people would make new xmas songs that dont suck

Click read more or whatever it says..

Read the rest of this entry »

December 23rd, 2007 by olstar

Due to the line of work i am in, SEO is very important to me, and i try to apply SEO techniques to any site i own or run with davros. I have always therefore used certain SEO tricks on this blog, in order to dominate google for such terms as “0lly” (with a zero) and “olstar” (without a zero)

I was just doing a random check, and found that if i searched for 0lly, someone also called 0lly had a blog, and his domain was 0lly.net - Bastard. Why didnt i buy that years ago! The chap seems a little geeky, and could possibly give me a run for my money for that top spot in the search results.

Ill keep my eye on the situation, but due to the age and vast quantity of data on this blog i dont think ill be knocked off the top.

December 22nd, 2007 by olstar

I must have this T-Shirt! It is quite possibly the greatest T-Shirt ever made!

I have seen it on TV before, or on a picture or something - and it cracks me up every time i read it!

Its £14, and available from SumoSam’s - if anyone wants to buy it me, or SumoSam want to give it me for linking to them from here, then post a comment and we’ll sort it

December 22nd, 2007 by olstar

Im sat here, its 23:53 on the last saturday before xmas. I have been out with Gemma, Chaz and some of the Maxxd lot - but as i dont really drink i volunteered to drive, and got a bit bored so i have left Gem and Chaz in Chicago (not the state of the US of A) and i have come home.

Instead, im sat listening to the music i want to listen to - mainly the beastie boys and jimi hendrix! Im eating a chicken cob -  that gem made for herself but im hungry - chillin out on my laptop. And even though im doing 3 of my favourite things (ok 4 but i aint going into detail) i cant help missing my angel and my puppy

Pup is having a sleepover at gem’s mum’s and i hate being away from her. The house still smells of puppy, and her toys are on the floor - but shes miles away

I know, im sad - but those are the two thigns most important to me, and i have none of them at this moment in time. :’(

December 18th, 2007 by olstar

I dont mean PC as in po-leece officer, or personal computer, i mean political correctness. I for one am totally against it, i feel that it is every man and womans duty to be kind and civil with the next man or woman, and everyone should treat everyone else with the same level of respect, but i dont for one minute feel that changing old nursery rhymes to read “Wooly sheep” instead of “Black sheep” is in any way benefiting our country.

Its just gone mad hasn’t it, your no longer allowed to call a Black board, a blackboard. Its now a chalkboard, you can no longer say postman, you have to say super special uniformed mail delivery superintendent.. or some bizarre shit like that. Why the fuck cant i say these things? When i say blackboard, i dont mean negroboard, or niggerboard, i mean blackboard. Therefore i feel that the whole concept of PC is racist itself, as it assume’s that the person hearing or reading the word blackboard is associating it with the derogatory term used in racist remarks.

Its total bullshit, and i for one will never change the things i say, as i do not mean them in the way these people obviously assume we do. And if anyone overhearing me things that im being racist, then they can fuck right off, as im not.

Anyway, back to the point in hand. The initial reason for this post was to highlight something on TV that i instantly laughed at, and was stunned to of actually seen it aired on daytime TV.

It was an advert for a play-kitchen, and it was a little cooker, and all the posts and pans you need for a fully stocked play kitchen. It was all plastic of course, and the product, albeit an old idea, looked pretty safe. The voice-over guy on the other hand, wasn’t so clever.

He went on to say how the play kitchen was awesome bla bla, and how its good cos kids can mimic what their MUM’s do in the kitchen.. Ahaha.. surely that’s not PC? Not that i support PCness, and not that i dispute 80% of mum’s/girlfriends do actually cook and do the house work, but for an advert to blurt out how they can be “Just like mum” by being in the kitchen made my alarm bells ring.. I bet £50 that advert isn’t on TV much longer, someone will twig and deem it inappropriate for TV as it is sexist.

Xmas around the corner, all you women best get cooking and doing all that shit that women do. While us men put our feet up, drink beer and fart. 

My opinions are influenced by the company that produced the advert for them play kitchens, please use google to find them and send any legal documentation to them if you have in anyway been offended by the things i have written here.

I am not racist, and do not wish for anyone to read into this post too much, and think that i am. I judge people as individuals, and hate those who give reason to hate. Or some shit..

Dun dun der…

burp.

December 8th, 2007 by olstar

It wasnt even a week ago when i blogged about how i was losing faith with the auctionads project -  and now im blogging about them again.

For about a week, maybe two, their blog has been down. So that means they cant update anyone with system status’s etc. Ok, so that’s not the end of the world? Right? Wrong! They are also ignoring emails i am sending them, and they are 8 days late paying me money i was SUPPOSED to get months ago anyway!

I dont know what they are playing at, but they are fucking me right off! I hope people find this and realise what a shit programme this has turned out to be!

While we are on about how crap auctionads is, i might as well mention that a member of my adidas superstar forum actually noticed the banners were in fact advertising a FAKE pair of adidas superstars.. One of the things that my website is TOTALLY against.. we have educated HUNDREDS of people in how to spot fake kicks.. And there is MY SITE advertising FAKES for sale!!!!!!

I removed ALL auctionads from that site the day after.

I suggest anyone reading this ditches AuctionAds too, and puts the fuckers in the ground where they deserve to be.

Im pretty sure you can get your OWN ebay feeds direct from ebays developer tools so you could cut out AuctionAds and still earn money.

Ditch them, join the revolution! 

December 8th, 2007 by olstar

Yep, cucumber.  It came as quite a shock, when i read that cucumber can be good for fish that are having trouble swimming. I.e. floating on the top, or swimming upside down.

We have had Bob and Marlon for AGES now - they were a gift from gemmas mum for mine and gems 6th month anniversary, so we have had them almost 6 months now. And the whole time, bob (the black moor goldfish) has not been very well. He has always had trouble swimming and keeping upright.

We paniced when he first did it, as our last black moor trevor started struggling swimming and he passed away. So we looked into it and learned that it could of been to do with the fact we were feeding them flakes, and when they eat them they take air in too, and air in the belly causes them to float!

We changed to pellets, and he seemed to be fine for a while - then he started doing it again. So we looked into it again, and heard that it could be indigestion. So we didn’t feed them for a few days so they could both crap out any food they had in them. A day or two later he was fine and dandy again - better than ever.

A few days ago he started playing up again - and this time he wasnt struggling to swim he just wasnt swimming at all. He would just float at the top and hardly move. Marlon will come along and peck at him which startles bob and that makes him shift, but apart from that he was almost motionless.

So again we consulted the internet, and a few sites mentioned feeding them things like chopped up cooked peas, and cucumber!! We didnt have any cooked peas to hand, so we chopped up a bit of cucumber and lobbed it in. They are now both swimming round pecking at the bits every now and then and both seem happy.

I think we are gonna try live bloodworm next, as they wriggle about inside the fishes digestive system, ans free up any blockages.. apparently!

December 7th, 2007 by olstar

Some of the not so nerdy people i know, that dont spend all their lives on the internet like me, laughed at the originality of the George character on channel 4’s recent program FoneJacker. But this character bears a resemblance to the format of some spam emails that many internet users have experienced for years.

I must receive at least one a month, from some loser in some deprived country trying to claim that $400,000,000 USD has somehow been forgotten about and they require someone to “Take your bank account details” so they can transfer the monies. And every time i receive one of these emails i reply in the hope that one will reply and i can have a little fun with them.

Well, one replied!!

The original email was from Chief K .K Edward with the email address k.k.edward02@zipmail.com.br - but he told me to reply to someone called A Walter Smith, from the Benin Republic with the email address a_walter_smith2000@yahoo.com

Click Read More, for the emails that were sent and received. I have written a little exert before each one to highlight my intentions. It starts with the first email i got from the Chief hahaha

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December 4th, 2007 by olstar

You have probably noticed that i have the odd ad on my blog, and on any of my personal sites such as my adidas superstar forum.

I toyed with a few ideas, but settled on using AuctionAds as the content was more interesting than plain text that you get with adsense. It was also quite cool to have bargain adidas superstars linked in my ads on a site that is all ABOUT adidas superstars..

My first beef with AA was when they seemed to stop recording the clicks and page impression’s so that when i went in and did a report- it said 0 where it should of said how ever many thousand page impressions.

I contacted them about it, and they responded (quite rudely) and said that although THEIR system wasn’t recording it, eBays was or something, and that i would still be paid.

True to their word i did get something from the time it wasn’t recording, but its wasn’t very consistent and something didn’t seem right - this was the start of me losing faith.

I then did a yearly report, and cross referenced it with my paypal account, i was paid on the 1st of September and it was like $12 - not a lot but it helps. I then had not been paid since, and it was November.

I contacted them again, after reading their FAQ’s on their site, which had stated that advertisers would be paid on the 1st of every month. Hmm, so where has my money been going? I double checked my auction ads reports, and the money had not been going anywhere incorrectly, it had simply NOT been paid to me AT ALL! The staff member again quite rudely and bluntly said that i would be paid after had reached the $50 threshold. I questioned why i had been paid $12 on the 1st of September - he informed me of a policy change - and yet their own site still had not been updated to reflect these changes.

This was when i started to realise that these people were having problems, probably money problems.. So i got worried, but stuck with it until i had reached $50 so that i could get what i was owed.

Half way thru November, the $50 benchmark was reached and i again contacted them and asked when i would be paid. I had to ARGUE with the guy saying i HAD passed the $50 benchmark - and at one point even sent him a report from THEIR OWN WEBSITE proving that i had indeed passed the threshold.

Then he informed me, that not only did i have to pass$50, i also had to wait till the 1st of December. Even though when i had asked the chap who told me the policy had changed - he told me ALL I HAD TO DO was pass the $50. So what, your own staff don’t know what the score is? How am i supposed to know?

But AGAIN, i left it.. And waited till the 1st to get my $50, so i could pay my ebay bill and list some items i need to sell BADLY.

It is now the 4th of December - and guess what! I STILL HAVE NOT BEEN PAID!

I contacted them last night having a bit of a moan, and was told i would be paid within the hour - that was at least 12 hours ago.

I am trying to hold back going nuts to them, as they owe me MONEY. But as soon as i have what i have earn’t i will remove ALL auction ads off all my sites and look for something else.

If you are reading this and are thinking about using AuctionAds - DO NOT BOTHER! Yes the ads are cool, and the theory behind it is MINT - But you will spend all your life waiting to get paid, and there are better solutions out there.

ShoppingAds is their site too, so i would steer CLEAR away from them.

If auctionads are reading this, then as per my email - you need to start looking after your advertisers as sooner or later more and more people will blog about you and cause your company to shut down.

Sort it out AA!