September 28th, 2006 by 0lly

People that know me, know that i have a few addictions. One is adidas sneakers, one is smoking and one is mars drinks. I love them. I cannot get enough of the liquid mars bar drink! Cos they taste so much like the bars its untrue.. Any other chocolate milk drink (and trust me, ive tried them all) is not even anywhere near the standard of these. Them cadburys ones are lush, so are the galaxy ones.. But NOTHING beats a mars drink. If you have never had one, go get one.. NOW!

Tomorrow, i have the day off. Im really looking forward to it actually, a nice lie in, a lazy day, and i get to mow our lawn as its gettin a bit too long. I saw my dad in asda at lunch time, and he’s gonna come round tomorrow with his lawn mower. Rock on!

Things are still going great, piece by piece things are falling into place, and hopefully soon the puzzle will be complete. If you’d of asked me what i thought id be doing and where id be living now, 6 months ago, id of probably wouldnt of expected any of my life to of changed, never mind all of it!

Im just gettin a bit bummed about my cars. I want to sell my clio but i really need a car now due to living further away from work. And i really wanna sort my caddy out, but now im further away from it, so it looks like im gonna end up gettin someone else to do ALL the bodywork, as i was gonna prep a lot of it myself. At this stage i dont care if it will end up costing me £2000 to get my caddy to the stage i want it at. Im just sick of it rotting away in my garage. ive had the thing since i was 18, and hardly ever used it.

Im fucking glad i have got tomorrow off to be honest, because i dont think i could get away with doing as little as i have done this week so far, for antoher day. I bet you could of crammed all the work ive done this week, into one morning. Seriously. Its been stupidly slow.

Gonna have a chilled ngiht tonight i think. I mgiht pop and see dave, then borrow another DVD off tony. Or i mgiht watch teh business again, as its a ret good film and ive seen most of my others 4 million times - so watching that one again is no biggy.

Off now for a few more hours of making myself look busy. Ho hum!

September 27th, 2006 by 0lly

Officially! I cant be arsed to do, anything! I have been sat staring at this “Write Post” screen of my blog, for about 2 hours. Not only do i feel boring right now, i also feel tired as fuck which is not helping me concentrate. I shouldnt be tired tho really, i have been getting the right amount of sleep, more than usual - yet im still struggling to get out of bed in a morning.

Me and wardo did nothing but mong out and watch CSI last night. It was ace, cos id not seen any of them - even though i had borrowed the DVD off wiggy about 4 months ago. I had some steak defrosted that i cooked, whilst wardo did some chips. It was much better than our previous attempts. Im stll cooking my steaks too long though, it was brown all the way thru! Boohoo! My dad always used to say “Rip its horns out n wipe its ass” - As he like his steak VERY rare. I like it rare too, but not so its still blue and cold in the middle.

We took the door of our kitchen too, as it is so annoying. But now i got thinkin that we might actually need it on to keep the cooking smells and noises in the kitchen. Also, is it like a fire hazard to not have a door on your kitchen? God knows.. It feels about twice as big now though, as the door got in the way so much.

Its our wednesday meeting tongiht. Wednesdays always used to mean scott would come pick me up, we’d go down have a few joints and chill with the crew. Now scott and fi are loved up, and my situation is forever changing  - wednesdays just aint the same anymore! I suppose change is good though. Even though i feel myself drifting away from people who were previously very good mates.

Looking back a month ago, i was so stuck in my ways. Every week was the same, id do the same things every night. It was so fucking boring. And in a month, its all changed.. I still cant get my head round it sometimes. There is just one piece of the puzzle thats left to settle, and hopefully i can sort that out tonight. if i can, then ill be the happiest person on the frickin planet

September 26th, 2006 by 0lly

Ok, so far, my blog has ended relationships, caused arguments between friends, and has generally been a pain in the arse in regards my life. But… I keep on writing. I have thought about stopping a lot of times. I have thought about censoring this blog a lot, and having another secret one that only i know about to talk to myself about realy personal things. I have also looked into anonymous blogging, but that seems to be a wash with fucked up peaodophiles, and i try and stay as far away from fucked up weirdos like that as possible! Even on the internet! So i thught fuck it, and decided to carry on spilling my heart out to the world, for everyone to read.

I often wonder who reads my blog too, Random people? Old school mates? Current friends? Ex girlfriends? Who knows.. id like everyone who may be reading this, to post a little comment so i know your there. if you dont its no bother, i just wanna know whos keeping tabs!

A lady rang dave today, about a charity Itallian Job type event, to raise money for the NCH, the children’s charity..

“This year’s rally starts off in Venice, and travels through the picturesque landscape of Northern Italy eventually arriving in Turin. The ‘job’ takes place over 6 days (27th October to 2nd November 2006) with up to 200 like minded ‘jobbers’ getting lost and having about as much fun in a mini as is possible.

Enter with a mate, your Mum or a colleague and enjoy the scenery, food, wine and all that the fabulous Emilia-Romagne region has to offer. All you need is a mini (classic or new) or any other classic car featured in the original film.

Entrants are asked to try and raise £1500 per team of 2, both NCH and The Italian Job work closely with all entrants to help you fundraise and support you whilst on the job. In addition to this there’s a £500 entry fee per team and general expenses such as food and accommodation.

Each year a fantastic amount of money is raised through fundraising activities, events and sponsorship for NCH including the sale of raffle tickets with the chance to win a New Mini, selling advertising space on the Mini’s involved and attending various Mini events across the UK.

Since the event began 17 years ago almost £2 million has been raised for various children’s charities and almost £1 million of this has come to NCH. These funds have helped NCH to continue as the leading provider in the UK of services for disabled children and their families, children’s services in rural areas, family and community centres and services for young people leaving care.

If you like the sound of a fun packed adventure through the spectacular terrain of northern Italy in one of Britain’s best loved and iconic cars for please visit www.italianjob.com or call Marie on 01773 541525″

We’ll probably end up doing it to be honest, as we like raising money for charities, and a trip round italy in a mini sounds COOL! I wonder if my mother would lend me hers?

Anyway, half way through the email i noticed my name mentioned…

“Think about it….. Oh and Ollie, according to his blog should really come along to the singles ball - cant guarantee they’ll be any randy mares with spliffs but you never know !”

Ahahaha.. so a random lady from some random charity has read my blog! Random! I dont mind at all, it just stunned me when i read it. I forget sometimes at how freely available this site is, and that just by reading it - people ive never met or even spoke to can know me better then some of my old school mates do.

Anyway, i suppose i best get this stufff pressed out for Optickleer. My back is really hurting. Could this be the serotonin depletion that i have dreaded for so long, catching up with me? Oh bugger..

New theme AGAIN for the 4th time today, i have added my eyes at the top, and i think its simplicity and pretty cool layout will mean it stays for a bit.

Peace out.

September 26th, 2006 by 0lly

I can never leave the layout of my wordpress blog alone. I love finding out new themes, and trying them out. I find many are not made very well, or at least they are not made for someone who likes to write, but for someone who likes to have a nice looking blog. I found this one whilst scouring google for theme sites i had not yet been on. It gets harder and harder to find cool themes, i should really record the sites i use - so that i can go back and check on them in the future. Im quite liking this one though, its got a new-ish feel to it, and its easy on the eye. So i recon ill stick with it for a bit.

I didnt do much last night, i tidyed my room, and watched “The Business” on DVD that i borrowed from tony. Its a really good film actually, very similar to other films if im honest, but deffo worth a watch. Just as i put it on, wiggy, laura and sammie came to my house to steal DVD’s. Laura needs to expand her film knowledge as it appears shes hardly watched any! How have you managed to survive this long? Films are like, a MAJOR part of my life! I love them! After they had gone i sat and watched it right to the end, then hit the sack.

I actually remember some of my dream too, although it was basically me in the film i had watched earlier. So it wasnt like my brain had made some awesome story up. Even my brain is lazy!

Me and wardo have decided on a sum of cash that we are gonna put away each week. Its about £25 more a week than what i was paying at daz’s, but thats nothing. Especially when we both have a full run of the house, no one moaning at us, and are both really happy.

A while back, i mentioned that something is gonna go wrong soon. Well it hasnt, yet. But i still think it will. Ive had far too much good karma over this last month, its almost been all too good to be true. Its the same for wardo too, i think. Hes moved out of his mums, to where most of his mates are, has got a girlfriend which he is crazy about, and is generally a happy dude. I guess the bad karma backlash could of been the £125 phone bill i got thrown at me, or when our bills come through, we might find that we cant afford them and i have to eat into my ISA. I suppose its nothing compared to the leaps and bounds in which my life has progressed this last month. Ah fuck it, im happier than ive been in months, and i couldnt give a fuck if i had to wipe my ISA out, it would all be worth it.

I have been doing loads of IT work at MMX3 this last week or so, today i am trying to configure a printer on the network. Back in’t day i used software called JetAdmin, but that has been superseded by  Web JetAdmin, which seems to work.. but now i cant find the drivers for the printer i need. Well i can find them, but i have to sign up to HP site - which i did, but it doesnt seem to work. Ahh the life of a techie. Ill have it cracked and working in a hour or so.

September 25th, 2006 by 0lly

I had friday off, to sort out the change of address shit for all my personal things like banks etc. Then after that, and a quick stop off at my dads, i went up to sheldons to get some photos of all his stuff he wanted to put on ebay. I took a million photos then headed back to mine with sheldon, to drink beer and do what blokes do on a friday night.

I then went to bed, and had to be up for 7am to be at work for 8. 12 hours of serious boredom, and starvation (i NEVER take enough food) and GOD DAMM im sick of watching the same fucking videos i have on my laptop, over and over again! I must remember to update them next time scott comes round!

Saturday night looked to be another night at home bored, but then dave rang me telling me i was going out, and that we were gonna have a mad one! Going out two saturdays on the trot was not usually my bag, but i couldnt be arsed to sit at home and be a bore. So it was on!

I got home, and wardo and wiggy were downstairs waiting for me, i was well happy they had waited for me to finish work! Shit shower and shaved, no wait.. i didnt shave i must do that soon *mental note* - Anyway, we were out by about 9:30, and on it even before we’d left. We started with a few bevvys at home, and in the car on the way down. Wiggy was being his usual boring (ill not drink, and ill drive) self! Wiggy - NEXT TIME IF YOUR NOT DRINKING IM GOING TO SPIKE YOUR DRINKS WITH JD! We nearly got pulled on the way down, which was hilarious at the time. We got into town and headed straight for 53 degrees. We met a few others in there, and the night just got better and better. Dave and stu tried to breakdance again, but it wasnt as good as last week. We then went to flanigans i think.. err.. its all a bit hazy after that. I drink far too much JD and coke when i go out, then it catches up with me later on!

Im pretty sure we ended up in coyotes, then liquid, or was it coyotes, flanigans THEN liquid? God knows.. Liquid was ace apart from when i was chatting to some girl, and turned round to be greeted with a face full of stu’s nob. No, really.. Im gonna shit in one of his shoes when hes at some house passed out one time. Mark my words stu, this aint over mother fucker! hah! By this stage i was fucking wasted, so we headed home and had to grab a taxi as wiggy had gone home. I love being cheeky i do. I knocked on a taxi window, “Taxi for olly?” i said, knowing full well i haddnt ordered shit. He radio’d in to confirm if i had one, they replied with a price and he signaled to get in. It was great, there was even some drunk bitch on the other side trying the same. Maybe its cos i have a large beard, and look like some kind of terrorist? Either way we were on our way home within minutes. Got home and.. well.. thats for me to know and you to imagine!
Anyway, it was again one of the best nights ever, but for totally different reasons to the night last week. It was a totally different night in fact.. But it was still great. I eventually got to sleep at about 5, and was up at 7 to do antoher 12 hour shift. Boohoo!

I got on site, and about passed out for a few hours. I somehow managed to last till about 2:30pm, on only 4 slices of bread left by dave (hworang) as i had totally forgotten to bring food and drink with me. I didnt even realise what teeshirt i had on until about 3:00pm and by then I had been there 7 hours! Dave came up, and was followed by chris from donny cruise. Hes one sound guy he is, got a lot of cash but isnt a cunt about it. I think its cos hes worked hard for it, and tbh he deserves every penny.

The last patrol of my shift finished at 07:30pm, and i collected my things together, and headed down towards the gate to wait for my lift. I heard an alarm. Oh shit. I legged it down to the other side of the building site, and dave (hworang) was there (he was taking over from me on site) and he ran over and said “they’ve robbed the TV mate” so we ran round to the front of the building and the door had been completely smashed open, there was glass and bits of wood everywhere, and the 52″ plasma screen TV that had been stuck onto the wall with what looked like no-more-nails was gone. Vanished. No sign of anyone running away, no sign of anything. I rang the police and eventually managed to describe to the location where i was at (new development, therefore not on maps etc) and about 5 mins later a copper arrived and assessed the situation. A dog unit was on the way to see if they could pick up a scent of the burglar, the very clever doggy managed to find the direction of where he went but lost the trail when he got to the nearby road.

I was crapping myself, i know that the security business is a tough one, and that a fuck up like this could mean lost contracts, and therefore no work.. Which would probably mean the closure of the company. But, i had done everything by the book, filled all my sheets in correctly, AND my boss had previously told them that it WOULD be targeted as its far too “on show” and easy to access. Now because my boss had covered his back, we are not held responsible for it. Thank god!

We eventually got on our way home, and duncan decided to go the motorway route. BIG mistake, from J27 to J29 there was a permanent car park. traffic crawling along, and it must of taken us about 25 mins, if not longer to actually get ONE junction on the M1. Nice one duncan! I got in, changed my coat, and headed straight back out again. Up to stags for LSOM. The bulk of people had elft by the time i got there, i think there was some street racing happening somewhere, so  the usual maxxd regulars were still there. I chatted to a few people, watched stu try and breakdance again, then watched everyone lighting their exhaust gasses with a blow torch.. Flaming exhausts rule! then i jsut had ot go home as i was absolutely bolloxed! I got home and tidied up a bit, then hit the sack for 9.5 hours of uninterrupted sleep.

And boy did i sleep! I was very nearly late for work, and even now at 01:32pm im still totally nackered.Things are really looking up for me and dave. Im gonna have friday off every week until i leave, and go up to the office with dave. We can get the ball rolling with our directory, and hopefully that and the 4 million other things we have to do will earn us a half decent wage.

This time next year rodders…

September 22nd, 2006 by 0lly

Oh, i never realised how much fun sorting bills and shit out for a house would be! Not! Its such a pain in the arse, filling in forms, ringing stupid call centers up and either speaking to a non-english speaking punkass, or a really helpful english/scottish person.. And guess which one ye old olstizzle gets? yes, the non-english speaking person.

I was on the phone to Lloydstsb, and i wanted to change my address on my account. Apparently i had been sent a secret number, that i was supposed to rind up and give to them, but had i fuck received it. So i had to go thru this automated process of making a new one, then i was to be transferred back to this non english dude, and have to go thru more crap. So after 10 minutes of him reading some complete bollocks about why hes doing what, and the fact they are regulated bla bla bla, i got transferred to some robot, who asked me to “say an 8 digit number”. So i said an 8 digit number (i didnt say “An eight digit number” - i read out 8 numbers, one after the other, ahh you get the idea) and then waited, she read back to me the numbers i had apparently said, and they were wrong, so when prompted i said “No”, and had to do it again. About 5 attempts later, the stupid robot finally picked up that it wasnt gonna work, and transferred me back to the call center la non-english.

So, im back speaking to someone who is blatently reading from a bit of paper, and she starts doing EXACTLY the same shit as the last dude. I interrupted “hang on luv, ive been thru all this shit and i just couldnt get the stupid * machine to understand the 8 numbers i read out”

Ive put a * in that bit, and that was where she stopped talking herself, she was like totally ignoring the fact i was speaking! She then rustled some papers about, and said “do you have touch pad on phone” or some bollocks, and was trying to explain to me (very poorly) that i could key the number in on my keypad instead, so again i was put thru to the robot woman, and i typed my 8 numbers in. Success!

Now why the fuck, couldnt it of said “either type in or read out your 8 numbers now, beep” that would of saved me about 10 minutes of my time, and money. You fucking idiots! Anyway, i finally got thru to the woman i was on the phone to before, and she started explaining to me that i was being transferred to the “change of address department” haha.. and a scottish woman answered, and to be honest the rest of the phone call was absolutley fine. Now im probably the least racist person, ever. I dont dislike any race, colour.. a human is a human in my opinion. But for fucks sake, sort it out lloyds tsb. if i had to ring them up often, id fuck them off! Bigtime!

Ive transferred all my addresses over, and sorted contents insurance and all that other nasty shit that does nothing but consume my money. So now its a matter of hit the bills as they come in. Arrghh god this is the worse part.

And that last post has to of been a record number of comments. Hot dang! haha

September 21st, 2006 by 0lly

I have been sat thinking a lot of the day. Contemplating the next month or so, and what is gonna happen. And also thinking back over the past month, and trying to get my head round how fast things have changed.

So far, my life has almost been in chapters. I go through one chapter, then it finishes and i start the next. The very long chapter of me living at daz’s finished last week, i seemed to be stuck in a rut whereby all my money was consumed in weed, and basically wasted. But slowely, during the last few months at daz’s i started to break that mould, and become a new person. Now ive left, and with it i left the money blazing stoner bum that i had been me for the last 4/5 years.

Im not gonna lie, and say ive totally stopped smoking weed, because i havent. But i have cut down a LOT, in fact ive only spent £20 on it, in two weeks. Ive spent more on beer! And i do feel better for it. The day after ive had a lot to smoke, i feel very stressed, and i lose my rag quickly. If i dont smoke anything i just dont get wound up easily at all. I have a little bit left at home, and once thats gone im gonna wait till next payday at least before spending any more money on it.

We have all our bills that are slowly coming through, so i need to save as much cash as possible to cover them when they do arrive. I also need to open an account for me and wardo, so that all the bills can come from one place and its easy to monitor.

As well as thinking of these things, ive been thinking a lot about a partner, someone to chill with, someone to wake up next to etc, and the more i think about it, the more i want someone that i cant really have. A girl who im not allowed to speak about on here, or anywhere really. But i cant help it. I have been and had some of the crazyest and wildest sex with a very attractive female 2 nights ago, and all i can think about is this other girl.

Even after going out at the weekend, and feeling totally indestructable - all i can think about is her.

Ive said i wont be bothered if nothing happens between us, but if im being totally honest, thats a lie. Ive not been affected this bad by someone for, well, forever! Nic blew me away when i got with her, but only becasue she was very good looking, and no one that good looking had ever wanted to be with me before. I was very fat when i was younger you see. And i still think of myself as being very fat too, therefore i have little self confidence.

Anyway, i guess ill know sooner or later.

In the meantime, i have the rest of my life to plan. I think ill start with my IT Support Outsourcing idea.. Thanks ancis
P.s. STU and DAVID - I want to start a small scale IT support outsourcing company.. Providing IT support solutions for companies like the one im at now. Would you both do sub-contract stylee support work for me? Its all money in the bank innit!

September 18th, 2006 by 0lly

I have just been called a hardcore blogger. Hmm, im not sure if that title really does apply to me. I have put things on my blog, that have landed me in trouble. I have put things on my blog, that are very personal, and normally would only be talked about amongst close friends. But trust me when i say, if i REALLY wrote EVERYTHING - then the image people would have of me would be that of a drug obsessed money wasting paranoid punk ass fool, rather than.. err.. wait a minute!
Blogging has become a big part of my life now, i see it as a way of getting things off my chest, and also recording what go’s off in my life. For example, i had to work out how much the security company owed me on saturday, so i had to check my blog, off my phone, and read back as i mention working in previous blog entries. It also gives people who dont see me often and insight into the goings off of my life - and its a good way of new mates getting to know me - without asking me a shit load of questions.

Anyway, i think blogging should be made compulsary. There is NO better method of self therapy that by openengin your heart up to a potential audience of millions of people. Woh, that kinda sounds a bit scary doesnt it? That these intricate little details of our lives can be read by everyone in the world. haha! madness!

I think im gonna go to bed about 19pm if not earlier tongiht, cos im absolutley shattered!

Peace out.

September 18th, 2006 by 0lly

Saturday started off on a good note, it was a nice happy chilled out day - and we were all excited, as we were expecting the ngiht to be awesome.. Boy oh boy were we right! It was the first proper night out wardo had had in mansfield, whilst he has lived here - so we were on it from start to finish! We went to pick crazy stu up from rugby, and the antics started then!

We got back home, and started drinking and stuff, then once everyone had arrived, a bit more drinkin and stuff (stu ate a daddy long legs), and then headed off into town.

First stop was 53 degrees, it where we usually start off from, everyone arrives at different times and once everyone has arrived we move on. Whilst we were in there, dave and stu decided to have a breakdancing competition. It was so funny, cos neother of them can breakdance, but they tried anyway.. and it was rate funny!

After 53 it starts to go a bit hazey, we went to Romans, after bumping into Malone, and Team Fuckstar, we headed upstairs to romans and started drinking etc. Stu got a bit larey by this point (he’d had 7 pints at rugby earlyer in the day) and started havin a go at troy cos troy kicked off about him rubbing his face in troys birds breasticles.. haha.. you gotta love stu sometimes..

We then went on to flanigans, and this is where things started to go wild. We were stood about drinkin, talkin and dancin - stu started getting all emotional and lairy smashing glasses and gettin upset about his grandad.  I managed to get little sam to blag me and her upstairs as shes quite fit, and bouncers just dont say no to her. So we jumped in front of a 30 person stong queue, only to find the upstairs was HEAVING with people, and VERY hot.. A bit of bump and grind, then back downstiars to find the rest of them.

Then onto liquid. Now i have a policy about liquid, either i dont pay, or i dont go in. Last time i managed to walk straight past the bouncers, and ticket collector with a “Do you know who i am” kinda look and walk goin off! This time, i bottled it (wasnt as drunk as the time before) But lil sam said she would pay for me, and ended up gettin in cheap cos she knew the girl who was collecting money. In there, well.. I cant remember it all.. BUt i do remeber having an awesome time! Lots of sharking, bumpin’ and grindin’ - At one stage i was behind 3 women (all related) and they ended up all kissin me at the same time, i nearly feinted.. haha…

EVERYONE was in high spirits.. And everyone has a mint night. I appologise to anyone i was a cunt to, or who i ignored, i tend to turn into a bit of a nob when im plastered. The ngiht didnt stop there tho…

Usually half 2 comes around, and we head home to bed.. Oh no… not that night! We walked to wiggys car (he was driving, and therfore not drinking - legend! although, your out on the lash next time buddy!) and we headed home for more drinking and consumption of party products. I tried something i never had before, and it was fucking crazy!

We eventually crashed out at about 6am, and scott rang me at 9am to see if i wanted to go to skeg.. I haddnt slept, so i told him id go later with someone else. I got up about half past 11 and went ot fetch breakfast cobs for everyone who was in our house - after that it was skeg time!

Skeg was great, although i wish id of had more energy cos i was exhausted all day. The cruise at night was pretty good, but i expected it to be busyer than it actually was.

All in all, a fucking crazy weekend that ended up costing me £100. Oh fuck, ill regret that later! Nope, i regret that already!

I didnt get many pictures at all, mainly becasue i was too busy having an amazing time! And ive never been so tired on a monday morning, even after nearly 9 hours sleep. This is gonna be a long day!

September 15th, 2006 by 0lly

I was stood outside the new house last night, with the smokers - just generally talking and smoking - like you do. And i was looking at a spider web that a tiny little 5pence piece sized spider had made. It had 3 daddy long legs trapped in it, One had wiggled its way right into it, and was well and truely stuck, The other two were kinda half stuck in it.

We watched for a few minutes, and dave thought he would interfere with nature, so he started poking one of the long leg things, to make it wiggle around - causing the spider to react by gettin closer to the bug that was the furthest into its web. It then proceeded to climb on top if it, and wrap it up in some web. Then it looked like it injected it with something, as it almost shrivvled up in front of our eyes.

Meanwhile, the other two bugs that were caught in the web, had some sort of bug brain wave. And started having sex. They thought they were gonna be eaten, so they started having sex! It was unbeliveable! I thought only humans made last minute random desisions to do things - when faced with the end of their lives. But obviously not! What was funny tho, is that the motion of them having sex, actually freed them from the web! So maybe they wernt having sex becasue they thought they were gonna die, but becasue they knew it would free them from the web? Or do things like daddy long legs not actualy think like that??

Who knows..

I do know that it was hilarious! When we looked back at the bug that was well and truely caught up in the web, it was wrapped up in more web, and didnt look too alive.

Nature fascinates me. And even tho i hate spiders, i love how they work and how they carry out such simple tasks like preparing their dinner.

We got our settee, and had the first takeaway sent to the house last night! Was a cool night actually, mason, laura, laura and dave were round.. Few beers, some TV.. nice and chilled

First Takeaway At House!

Wiggy driving van to fetch settees with me

The Purple People Eater.. Apparently!